With all the craziness going on these days, it isn’t hard to see that the end is nigh for the denizens of this world. Face it, we are doomed, but don't despair just yet! You too can survive the inevitable apocalypse with the proper tunes and the right attitude! Just because the world is a blackened ball of ashes and ruins doesn't mean we can't enjoy it. Big H has got you covered with this awesome list of new(ish) albums to blast out of your war rig while you create your own empire of irradiated mutant cannibals. This list is in no particular order, because order will be a petty and irrelevant notion after the bombs fall.
1. Behexen – The poisonous Path (2016)
A few months ago, Finnish black metal band Behexen released their 5th album, The Poisonous Path. With it’s dark themes, blackened riffs and pounding drums, I can’t think of a more suitable album to serenade you as you act out your apocalyptic urges. Behexen creates a great soundtrack for forcing a couple of your mutated servants to fight to the death in a giant steel cage. Hook up giant speakers to your raiding-mobile and blast Behexen while you mercilessly take things that don’t belong to you. Who says the end of the world has to be depressing?
2. Cryptopsy – The Book of Suffering (Tome 1)
The Book of Suffering came out last Halloween with Tome 1, and it sounds like someone lowered a microphone down a portal to Hell for 17 and a half minutes, and I hope that the next recording comes out before we have to start welding steel plates and spikes to our cars. The Book of Suffering will provide a great sonic backdrop when you are chasing down someone in your motorcycle with a morning star for a tank of gasoline (otherwise known as “going shopping”). This EP will give you the amped up motivation you need to fasten a box of razor blades to a hockey stick and get back out there. You deserve it buddy!
3. Myrkur– M
The apocalypse can’t always be a twenty four hour high octane fueled marauder fest. Sometimes you have to calm things down a bit for the ritual sacrifices. You have invented a new deity for your subdued people to worship, which is all well and good, but what kind of music will you play in the temple while you cut the hearts out of the virgins as tribute? You will need a haunting voice to echo off of the walls of the dark church which you have created out of bones and human skin. Myrkur’s voice and melodic black metal-esque riffs will lullaby the enslaved mass into willful obedience to their new god.
4. Rotting Christ– Rituals
After the gods have been appeased and your armored Prius is all gassed up, it’s time to assemble your hoard and go roaming the endless radioactive sands under a blackened sky. A group of idealistic types have stupidly built a makeshift shanty town in a vain attempt to restart civilization. Speeding along the decaying asphalt in a V formation, your war-band is ready to die for you in this biblical style beat down. What you need are some brutal licks to pump out of your car speakers as you push harder on the accelerator. You really want that feeling of inescapable doom to be heard by your enemies in the distance. Rotting Christ’s new album Rituals will make sure their pants are full when you arrive at their gates.
5. MgÃ…ša– Exercises in Futility
So you have done well for yourself and are the leader of a vicious band of brigands who fear only you and the god of the religion you created. A few years pass and the food starts running out, the gas turns into jelly and most of the water is either poisoned by rotting zombie carcass or radiation. The blackened sky rains down burning embers from a nearby super volcano which decided to drive in the final coffin nail into this frozen tomb we used to call Earth. Life has become one giant nihilistic punchline, and it is time to let this epoch fade into oblivion. You press the play button on MgÃ…ša’s Exercises in Futility as the last sparks of electricity are consumed by your dying ipod. You welcome the end, and the end welcomes you…
Remember, just because it’s the end of civilization as we know it, doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time. Whether you are smashing undead skulls or pillaging the weak for a jar of pickles, make sure these essential end of days albums are loaded up in that supercharged battle machine of yours. Enjoy!
