When his slasher-fiction novel manifests in real life, hack writer Rian Burman has to finish his story without getting his protagonist murdered by a seriously sadistic Stalker who will stop at nothing to have her.
I Know Exactly How You Die is meta right from the title. It is a story about writing stories with a writer who is suffering from imposter syndrome. Mike Corey (writer) and Alexandra Spieth (director) chose to tread barefoot down a cracked road of introspection and self-insertion, a dangerous choice that can really elevate a film or make it come across as unnecessarily pretentious. The ‘creating an art piece about creating an art piece’ trope in a genre film, particularly horror, is usually met with some… trepidation. Nevertheless, the film premiered to a sold-out audience at Dances With Films NYC in January this year.
This movie hypes certain expectations. The trailer most certainly has an atmosphere that you can cut with a knife. A thriller being controlled by an author’s writing in real time? An imaginary psycho-stalker brought forth from the pages of the imagination? A hero who may or may not be the very reason people are dying around him in real time? Imagine the guilt, but also the feelings of power. Imagine the tension as the film falls into the third act? Could another protagonist—or even an antagonist—get their hands on the script? The potential for something surreal was definitely within our grasp.
And then we meet the characters. Rian (Rushabh Patel) is arguably the protagonist, though his meek, mild persona is greatly overshadowed by Naja (Rawya El Chab) whose loud, obnoxious, men-are-awful attitude totally dominates every scene that the two are in. Rian comes off as something of an incel who is more stumbling through life than actually succeeding at anything. Naja, the far more confident and capable character, has had her life destroyed by some mostly unknown stalker who features as the film’s primary antagonist, though his actual screentime is shadowed in comparison by our two star-crossed reprobates. The pair share no real likability or connection, aside from Rian developing something of a hero complex and Neaja deciding to disparage him constantly while using him. It’s toxic.
The writing also suffers from what seems to be a real writer’s block. It doesn’t know where it wants to go, and the scenes are all over the place. Rian seems to believe that he has somehow come across the ability to rewrite reality itself but uses it to try and finish a work deadline? Naja has a way to stop her stalker, but faffs around the hotel instead? A room full of bloodied corpses leads to an argument that is quickly quelled, but a victim’s relative asking a question? This is just not how people behave. This is just not how humans interact. This is not how conversations work. This is not how you write a compelling horror film. It is marketed as a horror-comedy, but there is no comedy, and the horror consists of occasional gory scenes. The power cosmic in the palm of his hand and he tries to play white knight to a fictional character that he made up? Give me a break.
And speaking of the magical realism that the film seems to skim over. What exactly was the point of it? We are never really given any details other than some random side character telling him not to play with the magical powers that are within the motel. By the third act, I was really struggling to follow what I was watching, let alone keep my eyes open. The only things that really stuck with me were the things that irked me, specifically the unexplained plot devices (Could Rian actually alter reality? Were Naja and the killer things he’d pulled into the world or was everyone just in his imagination?) and the repeating theme of man or bear.
The main theme of the film is really not hard to discern. Naja has two choices. Return to the bear (The Stalker) who is clearly going to eat her. Devour her. It’s the danger she knows and the one choice she is trying to avoid. Sadly, things seem almost hopeless as no one seems able to protect her. Then there’s Rian—the man able to literally control her destiny. But instead of just setting her free and giving her a chance at a life of her choosing, Rian instead selfishly chooses to keep her in distress and trapped in fear by leading the proverbial bear ever closer in the hope that he will end up the white knight saviour figure and eventually get into her pants heart.
There was a possibility here. There was potential. I felt like the acting was pretty good, but the plot, dialogue, and unhuman behaviour of the characters really pulled me out of the suspension of disbelief. The magical realism was treated poorly, and the underlying themes of man being irredeemably awful made it a bit of a tedious watch for me. This was barely even a slasher film. Thanks for reading, and as always, stay sordid. I Know Exactly How You Die releases today on streaming platforms. The trailer and poster are below, as well as some links to help you find the best place to watch online.
