It seems as though I am cursed to repeatedly watch these single location horror films. The last seven or so movies that I have watched have all been filmed in a single location sans one. The Sand is an appallingly low budget horror flick aimed at a demographic that I am obviously no longer a part of. Perhaps ten years ago this could have ticked my fancy, bong in hand and baked buddies by my side, but my tastes have somewhat matured over the last decade or so.
“You ladies up for some sunstroke…if you know what I mean…”
This movie is little more than the typical collection of overly attractive twenty-somethings sent to die mildly imaginative deaths at the hands of some B-grade beast. Not only is it overly formulaic, but it’s also an obvious rip off of Blood Beach. The characters are painfully annoying and I rejoiced as their CGI cemetery of sand devoured them piece by toned and tanned piece. I suppose that could be a positive, that the movie made me so hateful that I wanted them all dead? All except Fat Albert. Him and I would have been buddies back in the day.
“Oh God! Such pain! I’m glad I waxed my chest for this shot.”
If you are looking for an absolute B-horror with badly rendered gore, beautiful tits and terrible everything else, this is totally for you. Get out your rolling papers and light up your chillums. Giggle the night away. If you want something with any form of style and substance, stay away.
“MY NAAAAAIIIIILSSSSSSS”
Catch the trailer and slide show below.
