After a botched job leaves a trail of bodies behind, a gang of desperate criminals seeks refuge in a remote desert hideout. But their plans fall apart fast when they discover the area is home to something far worse than the law — an ancient war between monstrous predators of day and night. As tensions rise and the body count climbs, the crew must decide if survival is worth trusting each other — or the creatures hunting them.
A Hard Place boasts an impressive cast of genre heavyweights that includes Felissa Rose (Sleepaway Camp, Terrifier 2), Lynn Lowry (Shivers, The Crazies), Sadie Katz (Wrong Turn 6, The Beast Inside), Rachel Amanda Bryant (Craving), Kevin Caliber (“Future Man”), Ashley Undercuffler (Craving, 16 Bits), and Bai Ling (The Crow). It has been on its theatrical rollout across multiple theatres and drive-ins and will be released to a wider audience once it hits VOD (As well as Apple TV and Prime Video) on May 27th.
While a huge number of happy horror fans prepare for the 50th anniversary of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, I find myself instead, being treated to what I can only describe as a schlocky horror picture woe. A Hard Place was where I found myself, unable to suspend my disbelief while struggling to care. I had seen enough a third of the way in and would have honestly enjoyed seeing less.
Imagine, if you will, a D&D campaign where your motley crew of adventurers screws up a heist and finds themselves trying to lay low, only to be accosted by a bunch of zombie-dryads. What makes that worse is that everyone at the table brought the same character sheet; some hard-ass redneck with a bad southern drawl, a shotgun, and stained jeans. Sure, there are tiny cosmetic differences as everyone got their art from a different place on the internet, but everyone went and brought a hillbilly ranger to the game. Awkward.
Oh, and the one guy who always plays a sexy bard is back playing a sexy bard because it’s the only thing he knows how to play.
Bard with a gun…
Then there’s a second party that pitches up that’s also filled with hillbilly rangers. At this point, everything is getting pretty confusing and there are far too many players to really give anyone a spotlight (except the hot lesbian redneck ranger with healing powers).
But plot twist! The zombie-dryads are actually at war with the dark elves. And some of the hillbillies are secretly dark elves. And one guy has bad eyeshadow for some unexplained reason. Then the DM tries to tie explain the plot but it’s like a hodgepodge of stuff from other campaigns made even weirder by the fact that even though its some religious cult story, everyone is playing the same country-bumpkin character.
And that’s the sum of the film.
The writing is awful. There are far too many characters, each with badly written, badly delivered, and overacted lines. The plot is convoluted and utterly nonsensical, and both the special and practical effects were subpar. I will say that the score and sound effects were pretty good, considering the state of the rest of the film, and that the editing and pacing were pretty decent, allowing the film to move along at a decent gallop.
I would not go as far as to call A Hard Place unwatchable, but it falls into the bottom end of the B-grade film spectrum. It borders the “It’s so bad it’s good” territory that can propel a film into infamy, but too many redneck hillbilly rangers made the film forgettable. This is a great example of how a seasoned cast cannot save a film from a poor plot and poorer writing.
Thanks for reading and as always, stay sordid. A Hard Place will be available to stream from May 27th on the aforementioned platforms. The trailer and poster art are featured below. Let us know if you are excited for the evangelical redneck hillbilly monster movie in the comments.
