There is only one thing we like more than horror movies here at Nevermore, and that is getting free shit. Last month, the guys over at horrorpack.com reached out to us and our ringleader, Mr. Wormwood agreed to exchange a free box of mystery stuff for my journalistic integrity.
Horror pack is a website that relieves you of those stupid dollars taking up space in your bank account and ships a package of four horror films on Blu-ray disc. You can sign up for a month or a year and they send it to you or your victim’s house so you don’t have to waste those countless hours looking for movies down at your local blockbuster video rental store.
(I couldn’t find a copy of Under Siege 2, so I burned that mammajamma down)
The one beauty of this service is that they take the lofty burden of free will right out of the equation. If you are like me, you hate flipping through the hoard of movies listed in the Netflix or Hulu browser trying to decide what movies to watch. So many choices! Satan forbid you actually have guests or family members nearby! The responsibility of actually making a decision can be devastating to your relationships. Horror pack has your back, because if your friends hate the movie choice, you can just blame the faceless entity that anonymously forced you to watch it. If the movie is a hit, then just take all the credit and look like a knowledgeable horror connoisseur!
I am supposed to make some kind of unboxing video, or something that the millennials are into watching these days. However our website has never made an actual video and we don’t have a YouTube channel, so I will take some pictures and paint my experience in the wonderful media of print! Here is what the box looks like…. Knife not included.
And here is me opening the box!
(be sure to open the box gently and try not to damage what’s inside)
And here is me reaching into the bubble wrap!
Here are the movies!
(Contact me if you are a hand modeling agency!)
This pack came with four Blu-ray discs but one of those discs is a double feature. It’s like opening a box with twelve frozen fish fillets and finding thirteen, score! The movies that came in my Horror pack today are: Knucklebones, Creepshow 2, Feast, Demonic, and Uninvited. Knucklebones was covered a few weeks ago if you would like to read that one. I have already seen Feast, which has a very disturbing scene about some monster on helpless lady action. Creepshow 2, the sequel to the horror classic is the gem in the pack and I am happy to see it added to my collection. The other films have made it below my radar and I can’t wait to see them. All in all it was a good haul. Thanks Horror Pack!
Feel free to roll the dice and order some random horror Blu-rays! You might be pleasantly surprised, or you could get a box of, meh. You can always re-package them as the Donny Osmond’s Christmas Special and then send it to your grandma. She will have to figure out how to use the goddamn Blu-ray machine you bought her last year. Enjoy!
